Finding yourself in a relationship with a narcissistic person can be incredibly difficult to deal with. And while leaving a partner with narcissistic personality disorder can be scary, it is possible. The best way to do it is to go no contact.
Getting out of a narcissistic relationship with a manipulative person can be one of the hardest things to do due to their reaction to your decision. They may use manipulation tactics to try and stop you, but you can prepare yourself for this by learning the most common things narcissists do when you leave.
So, let’s get into it.
The 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact with them: 1. Break your boundaries with love bombing tactics2. Start smear campaigns against you on social media 3. Employ manipulation tactics to make you feel guilty 4. Find someone else to be with to make you jealous 5. Retaliate against your decision by going legally, no contact 6. Play the victim 7. Become angry or aggressive |
Please note: if you are experiencing any type of abuse or narcissistic behaviour, please reach out to a trusted source for help and support.
1) Breaking Boundaries With Love Bombing
Trying to set healthy boundaries with a narcissist is a losing game. No matter how hard you try, they’ll find ways around your boundaries while making themselves out to be the ‘good guy’.
When you go no-contact, the narcissist may try to break those boundaries by using love bombing tactics. This can be a very intense situation, which can leave you feeling confused and conflicted. Just remember that it’s just another manipulation technique.
What is Love Bombing?
| “Love bombing is a tactic in which someone “bombs” you with extreme displays of attention and affection with the intent to manipulate you. Although being showered with “love” can seem positive at the beginning of a romantic relationship, love bombing can lead to gaslighting and abuse.” – Verywell Mind |
Love bombing is where they shower you with compliments and gifts in an attempt to win you back.
Don’t fall for this trap.
They’ll make empty promises to manipulate you into changing your mind, and you’ll find yourself back where you started. Stay strong in your decision to leave.
2) Smear Campaigns on Social Media Platforms
There have never been more ways for a narcissist to retaliate when they’ve suffered a narcissistic injury. Starting a smear campaign against you on social media is a common tactic to make themselves feel better and to paint themselves as the victim in the situation.
It’s kind of like how an ex would go around spreading rumours, except now, with the power of social media, it can be much more damaging.
How to Deal With a Smear Campaign
This can be highly distressing and may constitute a continuation of their emotional abuse. If you’re the victim of a smear campaign, make sure you tell your family members and mutual friends so they know what’s going on.
It can be hard, but try not to validate them by responding. Keep your no-contact rule and quietly report posts where necessary.
In extreme cases, for example, if they start sharing inappropriate or confidential information, their behaviour may constitute a criminal offence. In this case, you may need to escalate the situation by contacting the police.
3) Employing Manipulation Tactics
Being manipulated is one of the main things you have to deal with when you’re on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse. It’s a tactic they use to keep control over you and make you doubt your own judgement.
When you go no contact, the narcissist may use different manipulation tactics to try and get you back under their control. This can range from guilt-tripping to gaslighting and everything in between. Just remember that these are all attempts to get what they want, not genuine emotions.
These techniques include:
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Projection
- Love bombing
How to Avoid Feeling Guilty
The best way to avoid feeling guilty in this situation is to remember that the narcissist’s behaviour is nothing more than manipulation. This is easier said than done, so make sure you seek some emotional support from friends or seek professional help. Once you’ve built your support system, practice self-compassion and self-love to help you not feel guilty.
4) Finding Someone Else to Seek Revenge
Another common reaction to being cut off from an ex-partner is to replace them with someone else out of spite. The narcissist may very well start dating someone they know you don’t like just to get a reaction out of you. This is incredibly toxic behaviour for the narcissist and the other person involved.
How to Deal With Jealousy
The best way to deal with this situation is to not care. Don’t let their actions affect your emotions because that’s exactly what they want. Focus on yourself and your healing process instead of worrying about
5) Retaliate For No Contact
When you go no contact after a narcissistic relationship, it’s common for the narcissist to have a severe reaction to the rejection. Often, in a bid to protect their over-inflated ego, they’ll respond in kind but to the extreme. This can result in having a no-contact order placed on you. If this happens, seeking professional guidance is a good idea.
What is a No-Contact Order?
A No-Contact Order, often referred to as a “restraining order,” is a court directive that prohibits an individual from contacting, communicating with, or being in close proximity to another person. The order serves as a protective measure for the person seeking it, aiming to prevent further harm or aggression from the individual it is issued against.
6) Self Victimise
A common reaction when cutting contact with a narcissist is for them to play the victim. This is a role that they’re likely to be used to playing, and it can become quite distressing for you as the true victim.
A strong support system will be helpful. Don’t hesitate to contact a mental health professional if you feel you need one.
7) Become Angry or Aggressive
The most concerning response when you try to break free from narcissistic abuse is anger or aggression. The narcissist may perceive your leaving as an attack on them and their ego, causing them to lash out.
This can be difficult to deal with, but it’s essential to prioritise your safety in this situation. Make sure you have a safety plan in place, and don’t hesitate to contact the authorities if necessary.
Find a Healthy Relationship with Finding The One
Going no contact with a narcissist is a brave and necessary step towards finding a healthy relationship. It’s essential to remember that you deserve love, happiness and respect, and it is possible to find a partner who will give you all of that without the toxic behaviours of a narcissist.
At Finding The One, we provide a safe and welcoming environment for those looking for love after leaving an unhealthy relationship. Check out our blog for more dating tips and advice.
If you’re ready to move on from a negative relationship and find a beautiful new relationship, why not download the Finding The One app?
FAQs
What Is The Concept Of “Going No-Contact” With A Narcissist?
Going “no contact” with a narcissist means entirely cutting off all forms of communication with them. This includes personal encounters, phone calls, texts, emails, and social media interactions. It’s a self-preservation method often used by victims to break free from the manipulation, abuse, and control exerted by the narcissist.
Why Is It Important to Establish Boundaries When Dealing With a Narcissist?
Establishing boundaries with a narcissist is crucial because it helps protect your physical and emotional space from their manipulative tactics. It enables you to regain control and autonomy, reducing the potential for further abuse and allowing you to start the healing process. However, it’s important to be prepared for resistance, as narcissists often struggle to respect boundaries.
What is Love Bombing, and How Do Narcissists Use It to Manipulate Their Targets?
“Love bombing” is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists where they overwhelm their targets with affection, compliments, and adoring behaviour, often early in a relationship, to gain control and influence. It’s designed to make the victim feel special and valued, but once they’re hooked, the narcissist often switches to devaluation and abuse.
How Can I Resist Falling for The Narcissist’s Love-Bombing Tactics When I Decide to Go No-Contact?
Resisting love-bombing tactics from a narcissist involves acknowledging the pattern of control and manipulation behind the excessive affection. Maintain your decision to go no contact and remind yourself of the reasons behind this choice. Building a support network of friends, family, or a mental health professional can also provide emotional reinforcement. Self-care practices can help bolster your self-esteem and reduce the emotional impact of the narcissist’s tactics.
What Should I Do If The Narcissist Starts Dating Someone Else Out Of Spite After I Go No Contact?
The best thing to do when you find yourself in this situation is to simply ignore it. The narcissist is doing what they can to get a rise out of you and manipulate you into breaking your own no-contact rule. Ignore what they do and focus on your healing and personal growth.
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