Building Trust And Intimacy: 21 Must-Ask Questions For Your New Relationship

Ensuring you ask enough questions at the beginning of your relationship is a good way to guarantee relationship satisfaction and ultimate compatibility.

Though you may think you’re perfect on paper, getting into the nitty gritty of core values, spiritual beliefs, and personal goals early on is the only way to be sure you’re headed for a successful romantic relationship.

We’ve categorised our 21 questions for a new relationship so you can prioritise which are most important to you to get the answers you need.

Feeling secure and on the same page is crucial in a committed relationship. 

Read on for the questions you should be asking and why they’re so important when understanding your new partner on a deeper level.

First Date Conversation Starters

Our first set of questions is great for use on the first date.

Throw these into the mix to keep the talk flowing. A chatty, fun conversation is a great way to gauge your date’s beliefs subtly and whether you think they can be truly compatible with you.

#1 What Would You Do with a Million Dollars?

This question is great for engaging in light-hearted conversation whilst still achieving where your date’s top priorities lie.

Are they keen to invest in property? Or maybe they seem more reckless with their money. Maybe they’d prioritise travelling the world in a similar way to you.

Whatever the answer, this question is great for working out if your personalities complement or clash.

#2 Why are You Looking for a Serious Relationship?

An essential thing to know is why they’re on the date in the first place.

If you’ve met through Finding The One, you’ll know your date is looking for the real thing. But this question allows for a light exploration into your date’s past and can give insight into what they’re like in a long-term relationship.

#3 If You Could Travel Anywhere, Where Would You Go and Why?

A healthy relationship is full of shared experiences.

Do your ideal holiday destinations match? Knowing what type of travel your date would prefer is great for understanding what they value most and what experiences they’d plan to share with you.

#4 What’s Something that Always Makes You Laugh?

A major thing to establish on the first date is if your humour is similar.

If it turns out you watch the same shows and laugh at the same things, you can be sure this will massively improve your relationship energy.

#5  What’s Your Favourite Way to Unwind?

Work, stress and commitments can easily take a toll on your relationship.

Knowing how you both like to relax will help you plan dates that prioritise your relationship and allow you to put the work in so that things never fizzle.

This question also helps you establish if you would choose to use a shared space in similar ways and whether you could imagine living with this person.

#6 If You Could Have a Dinner Party with Anyone, Dead or Alive, Who Would You Invite?

This fun question is great for engaging in interesting conversation and getting to know your date by discovering their heroes and who they’d like to meet most in the world.

A person’s idols tell you a lot of what you need to know about their core values. So this is a great one for gauging someone’s personality.

Establishing Trust and Forgiveness in a Relationship

There are certain questions to ask your partner so you can establish your chosen ground rules early on in the relationship.

This involves tackling more intimate questions to grasp your new partner’s perspective on relationship dynamics to inform your future commitment.

#7 How Would You Define Cheating?

It’s important to establish if you both have the same rules about fidelity and infidelity.

Though it can be difficult to work out exactly what constitutes “cheating”, this tends to differ from each person’s views.

This question also lends itself to protecting your sexual health as well as your emotions, helping you and your new partner to establish a healthy sex life you’re both happy with.

#8 Do You Trust Me 100%?

Trust is an essential part of a successful relationship, so it’s important to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your partner’s answer isn’t 100%, this isn’t always a red flag. This can be a fundamental question to work out where you currently stand and how both of you can move forward to improve your trust.

#9 Do You Still Think of Past Relationships, and in What Way?

Knowing what your new partner’s opinions are of their old relationships can really help you understand them on a deeper level.

This is a key question for learning if your partner has attachments to past relationships, regrets and how they might bring this to your new relationship.

Understanding the past can aid you in understanding why your new partner acts a certain way and how you can react to improve the situation.

#10 Would You Tell Me if Someone Tried to Kiss You?

Emotional and physical boundaries are crucial, and this question is a great way to ensure your partner understands that honesty is key in any relationship.

#11 How Do You Think Trust Can Be Rebuilt Once Broken?

If trust is broken in a relationship, it can be challenging to move past this.

Acknowledge that rebuilding trust takes time. Engaging with your new partner’s beliefs can help you to find common ground and move forward. Establishing these methods early is a great way to set you up for the future and create a growth-oriented relationship.

Gaging Their Relationship Beliefs and Values

Getting to know the values of your partner can heavily inform the development of a new relationship and whether it will work out.

#12 What Core Values Do You Consider Most Important in a Relationship?

Asking your partner what they consider sacred in a relationship will help you understand what they value most and how they expect to be treated.

It’s important to be in agreement on values like mutual respect and communication. So, you should know what your partner considers important to maintain healthy relationships.

#13 What Elements of Our Relationship are Most Important to You?

Knowing what your partner wants from the relationship and how they want to feel can help you both ensure everything is communicated effectively.

It will also indicate whether they value the same things as you and whether you personally feel valued in the way you would like.

#14 How Much Do You Think a Couple’s Core Values and Beliefs Should Align?

It’s important to establish whether your partner agrees that core values should be respected and taken into account when making major decisions.

This question will help you determine whether your new partner truly values your core beliefs and aims to match them.

#15 Do You Think We Support Each Other Enough?

This is a great question leading to quality time and reaching out to each other.

For a new relationship to last, you need to be on the same page regarding supporting each other through aspects of life outside your relationship and establishing a healthy balance.

#16 How Do You Prioritise Your Values When Making Life Decisions?

Learning how your new partner decides upon life decisions is crucial in understanding whether you are compatible.

If your values don’t match up, chances are this isn’t a relationship built to last.

Planning for the Future of Your Relationship

With this set of questions, we’re getting into the topic of moving forward and perhaps stumbling upon some deal-breakers.

These questions are for when you’re ready to discuss future goals with your new partner and reach a better understanding of where you might be headed.

#17 Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?

This question is great for determining where your new partner sees themselves in the future and whether they would include you in those plans.

It’s a subtle way of understanding how serious they are about you and if you are on the same page.

#18 Would You Relocate for Your Partner’s Career?

If you have your own ideas on where you’d like to see your future, career and family-wise, you need to know whether your new relationship can fit into that.

Asking questions about sacrifices that may need to be made lets you know if this one’s a keeper or if some creases need ironing out in some way.

#19 What are Your Thoughts on Raising a Family?

Understanding your new partner’s ideas surrounding family dynamics is crucial when moving forward.

First, you need to know whether they want kids and if this matches what you want.

Then, you need to understand how they imagine raising children and if your ideas match enough to have something to work with.

#20 What are Your Long-Term Financial Goals?

Sharing ideas on finance is key in any relationship.

This question allows you to understand how your new partner prioritises cash and whether they aim to offer you stability or share a lifestyle you also look for.

#21 What Key Elements Do You Think Help a Lasting Relationship?

Ultimately, this is the question to ask when looking for a relationship that will stand the test of time.

Knowing how your partner values date nights and prioritising your relationship gives you a good indication that this can go somewhere further.

Ultimate Compatibility With Finding The One

At FTO, we offer you the chance to meet your lasting match!

With detailed profiles, we put you in touch with like-minded Londoners, helping you to find love in the hustle and bustle of the big city.

Finding The One is exclusively for those seeking a serious relationship. 
If you’re looking for the real deal, sign up today and potentially kick-start the rest of your life!