Cancelling A Date: Why It’s OK And How To Do It Gracefully

Everyone has been in the situation of having to cancel or reschedule a date.

While it can be uncomfortable and stressful, it is important to remember that there are times when cancelling a date is necessary and totally OK.

If you’re considering cancelling a date, it’s important for you to weigh up the reasons why so you can do it correctly.

You might not want to give off the wrong idea, or you might be wanting to schedule another potential date. Either way, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes is the best way to win on the outcome.

Understanding The Importance Of Self Care And Boundaries

Always remember that self-care and boundaries come first. If you just don’t feel up for a date, it’s perfectly OK to say no. It’s better to be honest with yourself and the other person than to force yourself into doing something uncomfortable or unenjoyable.

Even if you don’t want to cancel plans in the future, it’s perfectly doable to cancel early on in a relationship and continue seeing the person you like.

Ultimately, it’s your choice if you don’t feel the date should go ahead. Whether you’ve been on a few dates or this is a new date, you have to trust your gut instinct and build those boundaries to prioritise your own thoughts and feelings.

When It’s Necessary To Cancel A Date

Whether it’s ongoing personal issues, you’ve just received some bad news, or you’re just not feeling that hot – it’s acceptable to cancel a date and reschedule for another time.

If it’s because of work or personal commitments, cancel the date politely and explain the situation in an understanding manner.

You may want to cancel plans you didn’t call a date, but the other person got the wrong idea. In this case, it’s perfectly possible to let the person down gently and suggest that you stay friends!

Your mental health is important. If you are too stressed out or feeling overwhelmed, it’s OK to cancel a date and explain why. In some ways, this can even be beneficial. 

Under these circumstances, you can explain to a potential date that, although you’re looking forward to seeing them soon, your upcoming scheduled plans aren’t looking likely. Rescheduling will allow you to focus on yourself in the meantime, focus more on your date and be present for the date you reschedule.

This is real life, and sometimes these things happen. Understanding your match’s feelings is part and parcel when building something long-term. With FTO, you can feel confident and safe with any dates you have upcoming.

If you’d like to share your reservations regarding an upcoming date with one of our users, our contact team is on hand to listen to any concerns you have.

Communicating Your Decision: Being Honest And Polite

If you’ve made the decision to cancel or reschedule, it’s important to do it in a polite and honest manner.

Start by expressing your appreciation for the other person taking the time to meet you and make the date happen. Make sure to be sincere and offer good excuses.

It’s always necessary to consider how your date might be feeling when they get that call. You should bear this in mind when suggesting a cancellation.

Being as honest as you can be in a tricky situation can be hard, but it’s your call how much personal stuff you let slip, so use your best judgement for a calm and easy letdown.

If you’re cancelling on somebody you want to take a rain check with, consider gathering a list of dates you’re free before picking up the phone. This way, you’ll still look enthusiastic and keen to meet, and they won’t feel let down, nor will they let second thoughts creep into their mind surrounding your rescheduling!

Cancelling Last Minute

So, you need to cancel a date that’s tomorrow night, or even tonight, in an hour… is that doable?

Well, have your excuses at the ready. But, yes, of course. If, for any reason, you don’t feel comfortable with your upcoming plans, be it if they are in five minutes or not, you don’t have to go ahead with them and nor should you.

But how do you let someone down gently with no warning?

Be straightforward and honest about your reasons for cancelling, apologise for the lack of notice and suggest that you reschedule as soon as possible. Again, this is when that little book of dates comes in handy! Show your disappointment for the plans that were so close and show how keen you are to get them back on track.

Cancelling A Date You Never Wanted To Go On

We’ve all been there. You’ve agreed to a date to stop them talking, and now you need a way out.

It can be hard to cancel plans with somebody who you don’t even want to go on a date with. It can also be especially hard to show sympathy for someone who wouldn’t originally let you decline!

However, you can still remain polite and express your appreciation for the other person’s company. Be sure to keep it friendly – their enthusiasm to see you may make them hard to disappoint, and you don’t want to find yourself in a sticky situation.

Though you don’t want to rub someone up the wrong way, you still have to be firm. The option to cancel a date is yours, and if you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to offer relevant excuses!

Using your better judgement will allow you to decide how to stay safe and act within your own will in this kind of situation. Don’t ghost them as this may leaving them feeling rejected without reason.

Being Direct And Clear: When They Won’t Take No For An Answer

Hide and seek isn’t fun, especially when it comes to cancelling a date.

If someone doesn’t take no for an answer, it can become draining, and it can cause you to panic. 

This is actually a huge red flag. This sort of behaviour can be threatening, and it only confirms that cancelling your plans was definitely the right decision.

If someone doesn’t listen to your reasons, don’t be afraid to get direct and clear with them. Stick by your guns and explain that the upcoming date won’t be happening. In this case, you can encourage this person to jump into your shoes and reason with them.

At the end of the day, if things get out of hand you should cut ties and avoid further contact. You can walk away knowing you were polite and thoughtful and that this person didn’t respect your boundaries.

Cancelling And Rescheduling An Upcoming Date

Cancelling and rescheduling a date is perfectly okay. You should never feel pressured into keeping plans you don’t want to, but in case you do, it’s the easiest way to let someone down.

Your cancelling could be down to any number of reasons. Offering up potential dates that you’re available in the future lets your date know you’re invested and can even strengthen your growing relationship, creating new anticipation for exciting plans!

Cancelling a date this way can also have positive or negative effects on the way you see this person. Their reaction to your rescheduling will let you know if you have chosen the right person to get close to.

Dating Advice: Our Favourite Excuses For Cancelling

Knowing just how to cancel a date can be tricky, if not extremely awkward. Here are our favourite text message excuses for every scenario!

When You’re Feeling Sick:

“Hiya, I’m sorry to let you down this evening, I’m just really not feeling great. I think I should take a rain check tonight… Thanks for understanding!”

Telling the person they’re already understanding is a great way to keep them sweet and ensure they won’t send any difficult replies. It also suggests you know they’re a good person, and offering an ego boost is always great for getting yourself out of situations.

When You’re Just Not Feeling Too Hot:

“Hey you! I was really looking forward to tonight, but I’m really frazzled this week. I think we should reschedule for when things are less manic. I just want to be able to focus on the date without worrying about work. Speak soon.”

So, you’re feeling a bit down or just not your best self. Blaming it on the week you’ve had makes you relatable and is vague enough that it can’t really be questioned! 

Plus, adding “Speak soon” leaves the ball in their court, but suggests you’re still keen to see/talk to them, leaving all the doors unclosed.

When They’re A Little Too Full On:

“Hi. I’ve been thinking over our chats and I think it’s best we cancel our date. You’re great, but I’m not sure we want the same things. I’d love to stay friends. Take care.”

This response is firm, but still shows you’re cancelling the date politely.

Suggesting staying friends means you’re fully out of the dating zone, and further contact is negotiable later on. 

If you don’t really mean it, the friends thing is easy to fizzle out, leaving you scot- free!

When You Never Really Wanted To Go In The First Place:

“Hey. Sorry to let you down, but my car broke and I need to get it fixed ASAP. Speak soon.”

Did you need a car to get to the date? Probably not.

Is your mechanic working at the same time as happy hour at the bar? Probably not.

This response is still polite but pretty transparent. You’re blowing them off. “Speak soon” isn’t really meant at all. You may leave them feeling a little deflated. 

But – at the end of the day – they pressured you into agreeing to a date you didn’t want to go on; now you’ve tackled it over text and never have to deal with them again. Winner!

No Bad Dates With Finding The One

When it comes to online dating, everyone has their own way of doing things. Cancelling a date is no different. 

However, with FTO, you can be sure that potential dates are appropriately matched and ready to offer you the real deal. Using detailed profiles from serious singletons, Finding The One will partner you with long-lasting love.
Sign up now and start your FTO journey!

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