Communication is the best way to strengthen any relationship. It’s important to not only ask your partner your burning relationship questions but yourself.
Asking the tough relationship questions allows both you and your partner to know what makes each of you really tick. You’ll know how to handle each other and yourselves better.
Your partner’s answers can also massively benefit your relationship progress in a few ways. You’ll know each other better, be able to laugh more and know exactly where you’re both headed.
So, let’s get into it! The deep relationship questions you should be asking and why they’re important…
Who Was Your First Crush?
Starting off with a fun one…
This question leans away from the heavy and offers a fun conversation starter. It covers childhood, preferences and types and how you fit into that.
It can even spark some interesting activities… Remember Rachel dressing as princess Leia for Ross in Friends? You catch our drift.
Do You Ever Feel Jealous?
A really important one with no right answer.
Jealousy can take many forms. And – although being overly jealous can be highly toxic in a relationship – a little bit of jealousy is perfectly healthy and can show how much you mean to your partner.
On the other hand, if they say they’re not the jealous type, this doesn’t mean you should worry. No jealousy in a relationship means you’re a perfectly trusting couple and are very open and honest with each other.
Do We Share The Same Love Language?
Love language is a fairly new term. But it is a very important one.
Conversations surrounding love languages have allowed couples and individuals to grow more understanding of how they work and what they need as a member of a long-term relationship.
Love languages can be anything from physical touch, to verbal affirmations to loving gestures. There is no right and wrong in love languages, and understanding your partners can massively improve your relationship.
This isn’t to say sharing a love language is a red flag; it just means adapting to strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
Do I Make Enough Effort With My Partner’s Friends?
Your partner’s friends can be tricky to navigate. You don’t want to be too overly familiar, but you don’t want to dismiss them as an important part of your partner’s life.
If you’re having these worries, be open and honest with your significant other and discuss what can be done to strengthen those relationships.
What Are Your Favourite Memories Of Ours?
A great question for creating a conversation based on nostalgia. Focussing on the good times can really help bring you and your partner closer.
It can also inform your upcoming plans, creating new lasting memories that are stronger and bond-building.
What Was Your First Impression Of Me?
This can get interesting. The longer you’ve known your significant other, the more changes they tend to make between their first impression and current perception, especially if you live together!
Whatever the answer, this one can be a good laugh and show the both of you how much your relationship has developed over time.
What Do You Consider Quality Time?
Another one for informing future memories.
Does your partner want you to get outdoors more? Or should you be more present at home? This question is all about improving the time you spend together so it benefits the both of you.
How Can I Make You Feel More Loved?
A perfect question for making your partner feel loved and seen. This question focuses on learning what would be more important to them so you can adapt your actions towards them.
It also shows you prioritise your loved one and are willing to put in the effort to show them just how much.
Do You Enjoy Our Sex Life?
Sex is at the forefront of a healthy relationship. Ensuring both parties are happy with the quality and quantity of sex you are having is a great way of enhancing your love and intimacy in and out of the bedroom.
Am I Close Enough To Their Family Members?
This is one to ask yourself every now and then. Consider how they value their closest family members and the relationship you think your partner would like you to have with them.
Make the effort to enhance these relationships when you get the time and it will improve things at home too!
Do You Still Think About Previous Relationships?
This is another one of those questions that don’t necessarily have a right or wrong answer.
You may have an answer you’d prefer to hear, but if your partner happens to respond with a “yes”, it can lead to a healthy conversation as to why and how this may inform positive changes in your current relationship.
What Are Your Thoughts On Marriage?
We’ll call this a “being on the same page” question in terms of the future.
Though they can be the most uncomfortable, these questions are vital for ruling out the deal breakers and ensuring you both see things heading in the same direction.
We recommend asking these questions nearer the beginning of a relationship to avoid getting your heart broken down the line.
What Do You Think About Being A Stay At Home Parent?
Another “same page” question informing the future. This one covers your values surrounding family and upbringing, helping you to decide if you both agree on the fundamentals that will go into building your family later down the line.
What Was Your First Heartbreak?
This one is a deep one and should be asked at the right time.
It can offer a great insight into why your partner acts in certain ways and offers you both a chance to find out about each other’s pasts without judgement. Asking these sorts of questions is great when getting into the nitty gritty to build a firmer, happier future with more connection between the both of you.
How Do You Value Our Relationship?
This question serves as a reminder of what your relationship is and how you both keep it that way.
It can help to identify any weak points, underlying issues or areas for growth, prompting conversations about how those can be worked on moving forward.
It’s a tough one to spit out, but once the conversation starts flowing, you’ll feel more comfortable discussing the positives and negatives and how they can be worked on.
What Do You See For Our Relationship Long Term?
The “where are we headed?” question.
This is a great way to inform your conversations and plans for the future, making sure you both agree on where you’re headed and how long it will take to get there.
It’s important not to force an answer here — let the conversation flow naturally so you can be sure the answers you’re getting are genuine.
This question is also great for creating goals to hit together, informing the structure of your separate and joined lives.
Do You Miss Your Old Love Life?
One for the couples that are a bit further along.
You’ve been settled down for a while, and you want to double-check you’re both happy and not just comfortable.
Of course, there are always elements of the dating scene we miss. This question opens up discussions surrounding those elements so you can try to inject them into your long-term relationship for a bit of added fun!
Do You See Us Having Kids?
Maybe don’t pop out with this one on the first date, but don’t leave it too late into your relationship.
Making sure you want the same things in life is crucial when building the foundations for a long-term relationship, and a bittersweet ending can arrive when they’re not brought up early enough.
Why Did Your Last Relationship End?
If you’re slightly earlier on in the dating process, this one is good for getting to know why they’re on the market, if they have any baggage and what kind of potential partner they may be.
Waiting till the right time is better for these sorts of questions. You want to wait long enough into dating that heavier, more personal questions are OK to ask.
Do You Enjoy Spending Time With Me?
You may be feeling slightly insecure in your current relationship. We all have those moments, and they’re nothing to be ashamed of.
Asking these questions just gains you the reassurance you need, or perhaps an answer you didn’t want to face, but it’s one you need to know to make sure you’re not stuck in a stalemate.
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FAQs
Why Is It Important To Ask Relationship Questions?
Asking relationship questions is important as it helps you and your partner to understand each other better and strengthens the bond between you both. It also helps ease your mind when you’re feeling insecure, putting less strain on you and your partner.
How Often Should I Ask My Boyfriend Relationship Questions?
You should ask those big questions simply whenever they pop into your head. Some more future-focused questions are better to be tackled earlier on in the relationship to avoid disappointment further down the line.
How Can I Make My Girlfriend Feel Better?
If you feel your partner is unhappy, asking relevant questions about how to strengthen your relationship is beneficial in providing more solid foundations moving forward.
Consider potential questions surrounding love languages and what they’d like to hear you say more often so you can focus on repairing your bond and moving on with future plans.
Is My Partner Happy With Our Sex Life?
The best way to figure this out is to ask your partner. If you’re both comfortable enough, talking about sex in a relationship can really help with better connection and communication in and out of the bedroom. It can also heighten your moods, improving your lifestyle in all areas!