Have you ever found yourself pining for someone you never had the chance to date? It’s a tough spot to be in, as you don’t have any closure that usually comes with an official breakup. You can feel as if you’re stuck somewhere in between, with no way to move on.
It can really affect your self-esteem and mental health if you don’t fully shut off this chapter of your life and move on healthily. It’s important to get over someone you never dated – and yes, it is possible!
Whether it was bad timing or it was completely one-sided, there are thousands of people who have been in the same boat.
How to get over someone you never dated? Well, here are our 8 tips for doing just that.
1. Accept and Acknowledge your Feelings
It’s normal to have strong feelings of longing and regret when you can’t be with someone you care about. Acknowledge these feelings and accept that they are part of the process, but don’t let them consume you, or you could feel worse in the long run.
Trying to get over someone you never really dated can be as difficult as a real break-up, so it is important that you understand that your feelings are completely valid.
Having feelings for someone and not having those feelings reciprocated or not being able to act on these feelings is really difficult, and it can cause a lot of heartbreak. The best thing you can do is to acknowledge your feelings and let yourself go through the motions.
This will just give you a chance to heal in your own time, and it means you can start to move on and live your life once again.
2. Cut Off All Contact
The best way to prevent the ‘what ifs’ is to remove yourself from the temptation of speaking to them. There’s no easy way to do this, but it is an important piece of the puzzle. If you still have their phone number – delete it. If you follow each other on social media – block them.
While it can be very tempting to keep their contact details and follow their life on social media, this will only cause you more heartbreak in the long run, and it can stop you from moving on.
You have to remember that things will be difficult for a while, but they will only be more difficult if you keep on obsessing over this person and trying to contact them. If you feel like it is too hard to delete them from your life yourself, then why not ask your best friend to help you?
They can go through the social media accounts and block them for you.
3. Self-Care is the Best Medicine
As the saying goes, if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. Recognise your worth and make sure to practice self-love and self-care in order to properly heal. Spend time with friends or a family member, or just spend time alone and look after yourself.
Self-care is such an important part of life and when you are going through a difficult period, you should make some time for yourself. The great thing about self-care is that there is no one way to do it; self-care will look different to everyone.
For some, an intense gym session can be their form of self-care, but for others, they could need a good night out on the town. Whatever your version of self-care is, make sure that you give yourself the space to heal. It will help you get over the other person and start feeling like yourself again.
4. Journal: Write It All Down
Journaling has been proven to be an effective way of working through emotions and understanding yourself better.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings related to this person can be a great way to release any anxieties or worries you have about them, get clarity on the situation or even come up with possible solutions in a healthy way.
There is a reason why journalling is so popular, and it is because it actually works! When you are going through the process of trying to get over someone, you may find that you have a million different thoughts running through your mind.
When this happens, it can feel incredibly overwhelming, and it can be difficult to focus on anything else. If this is the case for you, then it would be extremely beneficial to start journalling so that you can get your thoughts out of your mind and onto some paper.
Once they are listed out in front of you, you can start dealing with these feelings properly.
5. Confide in and Connect with Friends
Working through your feelings with supportive people who understand can be a helpful step in the healing process. You don’t even have to talk about it directly – sometimes, just having someone there to listen can make all the difference.
When you are going through a rough period, your friends often get you through it.
Particularly when you are experiencing heartbreak, one of the best ways to heal and become yourself again is to be around your closest friends. Your friends know you better than anyone, and they will often know what you need before you do yourself.
So, if you are feeling blue and struggling with your emotions, make sure you reach out to your friends and confide in them. Not only will it help you heal from your heartbreak, but it can also bring you and your friends closer together.
6. Talk To a Mental Health Professional if you’re Struggling
Sometimes talking to your friends about your feelings can be difficult, especially if they have any bias towards the other person. There’s no shame in getting professional help if you need it. Just because you weren’t in an official relationship with this person, that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid or real.
This is why it can sometimes be easier to talk to a therapist, as they will be completely impartial to the situation. Not only will they be able to lend an ear and listen to your experiences, but they can also provide you with some coping mechanisms that can help you manage your emotions.
Therapy is beneficial to everyone, whether you are experiencing a huge change in your life or just looking for someone to talk to. So, if you find that you are really struggling with your mental health, seek professional help.
7. Start Dating Again!
Who says you have to go cold turkey? In fact, some people find that dating someone new can help them get over their past relationship or sitatuationship. In fact, “research suggests that rebound relationships are remarkably healthy when executed correctly”, so why not give it a go?
Getting back out there into the dating pool can be a huge help to someone experiencing heartbreak, as it can distract your mind and give you something to look forward to.
Even if you are not quite ready for a date, you can just start off slow by messaging a few people and see if there is any spark. Sometimes just talking to someone new and going on a few dates is enough to distract your mind, and it can also just be a lot of fun.
Doesn’t mean you need to jump into a new relationship – you could just have some casual fun with someone new!
8. Finding The One
One of the easiest ways to start dating again is to use online dating apps. They make it super easy to meet people looking for the same thing you are, and they give you a great opportunity to meet new people.
Here at Finding The One, we’re all about helping serious people find serious, long-term relationships.
Nobody wants to go on date after date with people who just aren’t a good match, and endless online messaging always lead to empty promises.
We help you get straight to the date by finding like-minded people who are looking for something more than casual flings.
Sound like your thing? You can sign up here and start browsing for your next potential partner!
FAQs
Is it harder to get over someone you never dated?
It can be incredibly hard trying to get over someone you have never dated, especially if you loved that person. Unrequited love is often considered to be one of the most emotional things to deal with, so it is easy to see why people struggle to get over people they have never dated.
Why am I hurt over someone I never dated?
Just because you never dated that person, doesn’t mean that your feelings aren’t valid. People often mistakenly think that heartbreak only comes from a long-term relationship or marriage, but this is absolutely not the case. You can still be hurt by someone you never dated because your feelings were real and true.
Is it normal to love someone you never dated?
Love works in mysterious ways and sometimes when we love someone, they do not love us back. This can be an incredibly difficult thing to go through and it can bring you an enormous amount of pain and heartbreak. It is so important that you understand your feelings are completely valid and you are not silly for loving someone you never dated.
How do I stop obsessing over a fling?
There are many ways to stop obsessing over a fling, but one of the first things you need to do is accept that it is over. There is no way to move on if you are still texting them or following them on social media. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to delete their number and block them on social media, so that you cannot even be tempted to contact them.